Tag: Copy

Writing Sales Copy – How to Close the Deal

Dear Business Builder,

OK … So you’ve grabbed your prospect’s attention with a compelling proposition, story, USP, intrigue or advertorial headline.

You’ve intensified his resolve to read your ad with deck copy that illuminates and expands on your head … intrigues him with reasons why, if he stops reading now, he’ll regret it for the rest of his life … and just for good measure, you threw in a heaping helping of credibility elements.

You’ve opened your body copy fast – so fast in fact, that your prospect was emotionally invested and completely committed to reading every word you had to say before he knew what hit him.

You’ve led him through your sales arguments hand-in-hand; showing him how your product will bring tremendous value to his life by granting him his heart’s deepest desires.

Starting from a fact or proposition he can’t help but agree with, you’ve led him, step-by-careful-step through every benefit your product provides and every “reason why” he deserves to have those benefits in his life.

You’ve proved every product claim with testimonials from recognized experts, the media and of course, your customers.

You’ve heaped on tons more credibility; validating your sales propositions with quotes, charts, tables and data from third parties he trusts.

You’ve anticipated and defused every objection he could possibly have to buying this product … from you … today.

And you’ve sweetened the pot by regaling your prospect with a truckload of additional free gifts he gets just for buying the product.

At this point, anyone with a pulse or capable of fogging a mirror should already be cutting you a check or reciting their MasterCard number to one of your customer service reps.

And frankly, because you’ve salted your spreads with action devices that present your toll-free number and/or direct him to your order form, some of your prospects will be.

But you’re not through writing your sales copy yet – not by a long shot.

Because now, it’s time to turn up the heat – with closing copy that’s so powerful, it vaporizes every remaining ounce of resistance and magically transforms mere prospects into paying customers.

You’ve got to close the deal.

Of course, when writing sales copy, how you present your offer and close your promotion will vary widely from product to product and from offer to offer. However, I’ve found that an outline like this one is a great way to get started …

8 STEPS TO A COMPELLING CLOSE

1. DIMENSIONALIZE VALUE: When writing the sales copy, use a few short bulleted paragraphs to remind your prospect of everything he gets when he purchases your product.

Begin with the product itself and all the benefits it will bring to him. Then, move on to each of the extras and each of the free gifts if he buys now. If permissible, be sure to include the value of each of the freebies.

I also know before I begin writing my closing copy the value and savings my prospect will receive on the basic service … the free extras that come with the service … the premiums or free gifts he gets and the total value of the savings and freebies he gets by joining my client’s newsletter service now.

[NOTE: Postal regulations prohibit assigning a value to the premiums offered if the product itself is delivered via Second Class (Library Rate) mail. It pays to make sure it’s OK to use these values before investing your time writing the close.]

2. PRESENT YOUR PRICE – CAREFULLY: When writing sales copy, I typically approach the first mention of my price in one of two ways:

A. Lead with the discount: “Charter Offer: You SAVE HALF – a Whopping $189”

B. Lead with the nominal price: “Normally, XYZ is a bargain at just $379 for two years. But during this Charter Membership period, you save half! You get two full years for just $189 – you save $189!”

3. TRIVIALIZE YOUR PRICE: This is a great way to close the deal. Again – there are many ways to do this, and I try to use several price-trivializing rationales in each promotion …

A. Compare the price with what it gets you. If, for example, a financial service is producing average annual gains of, say 86% on its recommended investments, your price justification might go something like this:

Look: Our average recommendation over the past two years has produced an 86% annual gain. Investing a paltry $10,000 per year would have earned you $8,600 in profits in a year and $17,200 in two years.

That’s 91 TIMES MORE than our two-year Charter Membership rate!

B. Compare the price with what others charge. Example: One of my clients gives full and free access to his world class website to every subscriber. The website offers the same investment research tools another famous website does, and that site charges $480 per year.

So my copy read …

Heck – XYZ.COM website charges $40 per month for the same investment tools you get with your FREE membership to my ABC site. That alone could save you $480 per year.

C. Compare the price with the value of the free gifts and discounts. Example …

And remember: By joining me for two years now, you get $1,091 in discounts and FREE gifts designed to multiply your profits – all for just $189.

D. Break the price down to smaller increments. This is where the second spreadsheet I showed you earlier comes in handy …

Just $7.88 per month … only $1.82 per week – a mere 26 CENTS A DAY for recommendations that can nearly double your money every year.

E. Compare the price to what they pay now for a mundane item:

Twenty-six cents a day: That’s less than ONE-TENTH of what you pay for a single gallon of gasoline!

4. ERASE ALL RISK: Now that we’ve whittled the perceived price down to just pennies, it’s time to crank up the heat again – by pointing out that he gets his lousy quarter a day refunded any time he asks for it.

Now, this is no place to sleepwalk. Think about your guarantee for a moment. What is it, really?

It’s a contract … a promise … a vow your spokesperson makes to the customer. It’s a sacred commitment and it’s personal.

So instead of simply stating your terms, why not present it as a personal letter … an official-looking contract … or as “My Sacred Promise to You”?

This is also the perfect excuse to restate all the benefits your prospect will receive when he becomes a customer – something like …

When you join me in XYZ, I promise I’ll never let you make a high-risk investment. I’ll be there for you every single day, guiding you to stocks that give you double-your-money potential with safety.

If I can do that for you, the twenty-nine cent daily investment you make in XYZ will prove to be the wisest you’ve ever made. If I can’t, I won’t keep a penny of your membership. It just wouldn’t be fair …

Also: Giving the rationale behind your guarantee is a great way to create a bond with the prospect by demonstrating your spokesperson’s fairness and honesty …

If the world was a fair place, no doctor would get paid a penny when his treatments fail to cure you. No stock broker would earn a dime unless he makes you richer. The truth is, if I can’t help you, it wouldn’t be right to keep a penny of your money …

5. OFFER INSTANT GRATIFICATION: Over the years, we’ve learned that when we order something through the mail, it could be an eternity – up to six or eight weeks before the product is delivered.

We also know that in this Internet-driven, fast-food society, consumers have come to crave and even expect instant gratification.

So if your product is delivered quickly, why not shout it from the rooftops?

Sadly, the number one mistake even top copywriters make is forgetting to ask their clients “How fast will new customers receive their purchases?” – and then featuring this fast turn-around in their closing copy.

One of my clients ships within 24 hours – so I include a subhead and short section of body text to let my prospect know that if he orders today, he can be enjoying my product’s benefits in just a few days.

6. ASK FOR THE SALE: It’s the oldest rule in direct response: When writing your sales copy, always tell your prospect, step-by-step what he must do to order.

Assume he’s a three-year-old …

Just pick up your telephone right now and dial TOLL-FREE 1-800-000-0000 and say, “I want to join XYZ for just twenty-nine cents a day – and don’t forget to include my $902 in bonus services and free reports!”

Or, if you prefer, just complete the Free Gift Certificate on page 23 of this report and return it to me today in the postage-paid reply envelope we’ve provided.

7. PLACE YOUR PROSPECT AT A CROSSROADS: The “Crossroads Close” is an extremely powerful device. It helps close the deal by focusing the prospect on the decision he’s about to make. Here’s an example …

In this report, I’ve shown you how you can nearly double your money every year.

I’ve offered you investment services others pay up to $728 for – FREE …

I’ve offered you 6 valuable profit guides worth $174 – FREE …

I’ve invited you to save half – up to $189 – when you to join me in XYZ investment service during this Charter Membership period …

I’ve shown you how you must be thrilled with the profits I bring you, or you’re entitled to a 100% refund …

Now, the decision is completely in your hands.

Only one of two things can happen now. Either we’ll go on from here together, or you’ll go it alone.

Either you’ll join me and begin doubling your money every year like our other XYZ members do, or you’ll continue to settle for the higher risk and lower returns you’re getting now.

I wish I could take the next step for you. I can’t of course; it’s completely up to you.

I urge you: The stocks I told you about today aren’t going to wait for you, me or anybody else. They’re beginning to move now. If you hesitate, it could cost you a small fortune in profits.

Just call TOLL-FREE 1-800-000-0000 now and say you’ll join me in XYZ. That way, I can rush your first issue and your free gifts to you tomorrow, and in a few days, you’ll be growing richer, faster.

Please do it now – there’s nothing to lose and substantial new profits to gain.

Yours for Lower Risk and Greater Profits,

[SIGNATURE]

8. LOAD UP ON YOUR P.S.S: Tests have shown that many prospects want to know who your sales letter is from – so they’ll flip through your sales letter quickly, looking for the signature.

For that reason, the copy around the signature – most notably your P.S. – occupies a powerful place in your copy.

It’s important to keep in mind that prospects who check out the signature first have not seen the rest of your copy – so divulging your price or other possible negatives here is a definite no-no.

It’s also OK to have a P.S., a P.P.S., even a P.P.P.S – as many as you need to convince scanners to read the letter and to compel readers to place their orders now.

Here are four of the most powerful P.S. techniques I’ve ever used …

A. Guarantee Reminder: Simply restate your major benefit(s) and your guarantee in a short paragraph.

Remember: Either I double your money in the next 12 months or I’ll cheerfully send you a full refund.

And everything I’ve sent you – including the $902 in free bonus services and gifts I just described – are yours to keep, FREE.

There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain – so please: Call TOLL-FREE 1-800-000-0000 now.

B. Urgency Motivator:

Early-Bird Bonus – an extra $79 Value, FREE: Let me hear from you now, and I’ll also include The #1 Money-Doubling Stock to Buy NOW – my hot-off-the-presses guide to my top pick for 2007 …

This P.S. would then follow with strong sales copy presenting the benefits delivered by this additional gift and asking the prospect to call now.

C. Testimonial: Select one of your strongest short testimonials – one in which the customer relates specifically how you helped him or her – and use it as a credibility-boosting P.S.

D. Final Rationale: This kind of P.S. amplifies and intensifies the Crossroads Close you’ve already used above …

Before you make your final decision, please ask yourself, “What if George is right?”

“How will I feel watching these stocks take off like a moon shot — knowing that I blew the chance to double my money in just twelve, short months?”

I don’t want that for you. Please – your membership is fully guaranteed – there’s simply no reason NOT to give XYZ a fair try: Call TOLL-FREE 1-800-000-0000 and say you’ll join me today!

Hope this helps …

How to Write Killer Sales Copy

Dear Business-Builder,

Sometimes, I get flummoxed.

Like a few years back — when the president of Phillips Publishing asked me to answer questions his group publishers and marketing managers had about copywriting.

It was in the early 1990s, and Phillips’ president was the legendary Bob King – a truly great man, and one of the sharpest marketing minds I have ever known.

As I remember, the first question his people asked me was, “How do you know the difference between good sales copy and bad copy?”

Hence, my flummoxation: These were executives with degrees in marketing from major universities — marketing hot shots who hired copywriters every single day … critiqued our copy and dictated changes to us — and the one thing they wanted to know was … “How can I spot powerful sales copy when I see it?”

My mind reeled. I was so caught off-guard, I just blurted out the first thing that went through my mind: “You don’t know it,” I said, “You feel it.”

I explained that consumers almost never buy things because it is logical to do so – and that the vast majority of purchases made in this country are made because they satisfy an emotional need. So to be great, sales copy must connect with the prospect’s most powerful resident emotions – whether positive or negative – and demonstrate how reading the copy and buying the product will fulfill or assuage those desires or fears.

That’s why, I explained, instead of merely thinking through the writing, editing and review process, I feel my way through – making sure that the “tingle factor” intensifies with every passing paragraph until I literally can’t wait to order.

I explained how every sales message is like a chain designed to meet the reader at the point of his need … and then lead him, step by step, link by link, to the order form.

I showed them how the chain is only as strong as its weakest link: How the minute you lose the “tingle factor,” the reader gets bored, you lose him, and the chain breaks. How if something you say feels unbelievable to him, the chain breaks. And how if you confuse him by losing your clarity of vision, the chain breaks.

I also pointed out that, even if you make sure that every link in the chain is unbreakable, your sales copy is also only as strong as its strongest link. The more compelling each section is, the greater your response and average order will be. And here, once again, feeling my way through lets me strengthen even the strongest sections of my copy.

I thought it was a pretty good answer. I still do. In fact, if you haven’t had the experience of reading your copy aloud, sensing how each passage feels to you, sensing how it’s likely to feel to the prospect, I highly recommend it.

But as I watched the young gun’s faces, I could tell that I had raised more questions than I answered for them. They needed something more tangible from me. They needed a checklist – a handful of nitty-gritty, nuts-and-bolts tactics to look for.

And so, in a belated attempt to improve on my decade-old answer, allow me to offer 21 ways to spot strong sales copy – and to help make the ads, direct mail packages and Internet promotions you’re working on bigger winners for you.

THESE ARE NOT RULES. I hate rules. But they’re great “non-rules” – guidelines that have paid off for me time and time again in my 30 plus years in the direct response trenches – and that I’m confident will strengthen your ad copy as well …

Non-Rule #1 – BE Somebody!

We tend to be skeptical, even suspicious of information given us by a corporation. We welcome – indeed, we seek out — advice from qualified guides and advocates who have our best interests at heart. And we welcome advice from someone who has solved a problem that we’re struggling with.

Putting a friendly and/or highly qualified human face on copy – and speaking in that person’s voice — will ramp up the impact of your sales messages by an order of magnitude.

Non-Rule #2 – Address Your Prospect Directly:

Here, you actually get two maxims for the price of one:


A) Talk to your reader: Instead of talking about how “we” age … how “we” encounter various health problems, talk to the reader about her life … her future … and most importantly, her feelings.

Use the word “YOU” as often as is humanly possible throughout your text. Remember: Your prospect really couldn’t give a flip about you, your company, your product or anything else. The prospect is interested in the prospect!

B) Talk about the reader: Yes, it’s true that x million Americans have heart attacks each year. But saying it that way, you’re not talking about her; you’re talking about x million other folks.

Find ways to personalize these kinds of statistics: “As an American over age 40, your chances are one in x of having a heart attack this year.” Wow. Now, you’ve got my attention!

Non-Rule #3 – Be Personal:

I often begin by closing my eyes and imagining that I’m talking to a friend about the subject at hand. How would I begin the conversation? What would I say? What would he say? What would I say back?

I would not refer to myself in the plural: “We want to help you …” I’d say, “Here – let me help you …”

Non-Rule #4 – Identify With Your Prospect:

Gary Bencivenga did this beautifully with his “Why we investors are fed up …” deck in his all-time classic “Lies, Lies, Lies!” package. Instantly, in the prospect’s mind, the person addressing him was transformed from a salesman into “a regular guy” — someone just like him.

Tell the reader what you have in common. Let him know that you empathize: You’ve been there. Reveal a non-fatal weakness or a petty frustration that the two of you might share. Anything that puts you on the reader’s level will endear him to you and engender trust between you.

Non-Rule #5 – Put a Face on the Enemy:

Why has the reader failed to solve this problem or fulfill this desire? Were all the other products he’s tried ineffective? Were the “experts” who gave him advice wrong? Is someone intentionally using him?

This is a rich emotional vein – so mine it! But instead of droning on about how unfair banks are, personalize it. Talk about how greedy bankers do this or that to the reader. Or about how callous drug company execs trick his doctor into prescribing costly and dangerous things that often don’t work.

Non-Rule #6 – Prove Every Point:

Never ask your reader to accept any claim at face value. Always include proof elements that suspend his disbelief with every claim. Best credibility devices could include:

  1. Study data from respected sources
  2. Expert testimonials
  3. User testimonials
  4. Statements that support your point from a major periodical – The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, etc.

Non-Rule #7 – Don’t Fear the Occasional Obvious Overstatement:

No, I’m not suggesting that you should exaggerate when describing what your product does. But I often use an obvious over-the-top phrase to demonstrate how intensely my client feels about a particular point.

Once in a health promotion, for example, I wrote:

“Some surgeons are so greedy, they’ll gladly cut a hole right through you – just to get to your wallet!”

Was it true? Who knows? No, I didn’t have a story about a surgeon who had literally cut through a patient to reach his wallet in my substantiation files. I did know, however, that many of my readers had had hysterectomies, mastectomies and other surgical procedures that were later determined to be unnecessary – and that line got every one of them emotionally involved and on my side.

Non-Rule #8 – Speak Colloquially:

I try to speak to my prospects as they’re used to being spoken to. Yes, that means I often dangle my participles and other parts (of speech). So what? I’m trying to communicate here – not trying to pass an English exam.

To mock the sticklers who were constantly correcting his prepared speeches, Winston Churchill once declared, “A dangling participle is something up with which I will not put.” Pretty much says it all …

Non-Rule #9 – All Jargon is NOT Evil!

Many coaches say you should avoid technical terms and industry jargon altogether. Baloney. The selective use of jargon comes in handy lots of times when I’m writing — like …

A) When the jargon’s meaning is familiar to the reader – especially investors and medical patients — I’m respecting his intelligence; speaking a language he understands and is comfortable with.

B) When the jargon is being spoken – sparingly – by an expert, it demonstrates the expert’s, well … expertise. We expect doctors to be proficient in the use of medical jargon and brokers to use investment terminology. If the term is obscure though, I’ll include a quick explanation and then move on.

Non-Rule #10 – Figures of Speech are Wonderful!

Early on, I was told to avoid clichés, sayings, analogies, aphorisms, proverbs, adages and so on. But why? If you had a face-to-face conversation with your prospect wouldn’t you hear tons of these figures of speech?

Doesn’t the use of these favorite sayings instantly say, “Hey – I’m not a salesman; I’m just like you!”? Don’t they get your prospect smiling? And don’t most of them instantly communicate something that it would otherwise take us a sentence or more?

If a picture is worth one thousand words, a good figure of speech should be worth at least one hundred. So go ahead: Experiment. If a figure of speech helps you communicate faster or drive a point home harder – and if you’re absolutely sure that its meaning will be instantly grasped by your prospect – go for it!

Of course, writing copy that’s just one cliché after another might be a slippery slope. Your client may even say that your promo is a basket case. That would be a close shave! You might end up feeling as dumb as a bag of hammers.

But on the other hand, choosing the right spots to communicate quickly with an idiom could turn out to be your bread and butter. Who knows? Maybe you’ll wind up richer than Midas!

Rule #11 – Put the 75 Most Powerful Words and Phrases in the English Language to Work for You:

Use these freely (no charge) when crafting headlines, subheads, and throughout your copy:

  • Amazing
  • Astonishing
  • Astounding
  • Announcing
  • Appalling
  • At Last
  • Bargain
  • Bonus
  • Breakthrough
  • Charter
  • Comfortable
  • Discount
  • Discover
  • Discovery
  • Easy
  • Effortless
  • Exclusive
  • Fearless
  • First Time Ever
  • Forever
  • Free
  • Gift
  • Guaranteed
  • How to…
  • How I …
  • Hurry
  • Immediate
  • Improved
  • Inevitable
  • Instantly
  • Intense
  • Introducing
  • It’s here
  • Just Arrived
  • Last Chance
  • Limited
  • Locked-In
  • Miracle
  • Money
  • Never Before
  • Nothing To Lose
  • New
  • Now
  • Opportunity
  • Painless
  • Premium
  • Prestigious
  • Priority
  • Promise
  • Proven
  • Quick
  • Revolutionary
  • Right Away
  • Rush
  • Sale
  • Save
  • Savings
  • Scandalous
  • Secret
  • Send No Money
  • Sensation
  • Simple
  • Special
  • Shocking
  • Steal
  • Surprising
  • The Truth About…
  • Today
  • Unique
  • Valuable
  • Why
  • Win
  • Windfall
  • Yes
  • And of course, the all-time award-winner … YOU!

Another thing: Some words and phrases are wimps. The limp-wristed, namby-pambies of the writing universe. “Can” … “could” … “should” … “might” … “may” … “ought to” … “seeks to” … “has the potential to” … “In my opinion” … and all the rest of these sissies should be banned from your copy whenever necessary.

Tell your prospect what your product will do. If the legal beagle or compliance officer complains, make a phone call and haggle.

Example:

YOU WRITE: “These investments are guaranteed to soar when interest rates rise.”

COMPLIANCE VERSION: “These investments could possibly have the potential to soar when interest rates rise – maybe.”

COMPROMISE: “These investments have the power to soar when interest rates rise.”

Non-Rule #12 – Squint:

Squinting makes the individual letters and words indecipherable and I’m left with just the pattern the paragraphs make on the page.

As I study the page, I’m asking myself, “At first glance, does this feel easy-to-read and inviting? Or is it covered with long, dense paragraphs that will only discourage my reader?”

Then I …

  • Jump in and break long paragraphs into shorter ones – even one-line paragraphs when I can …
  • Identify spots where the thing is crying out for a break – a sidebar or indented paragraph, for example – and then work them in …
  • Look for opportunities to turn a long block of copy into a string of pearls (like these).

I look for a series of benefits, steps in a procedure or other copy points that I can precede with bullets, numbers, letters, etc.

You can present horrifying alternatives …

  • Ages your body: Fluoride has been shown to damage your chromosomes and block the enzymes needed to repair your DNA.
  • Poisons your brain: Laboratory subjects given tiny doses of fluoride for a year showed an increased uptake of aluminum in the brain, and the formation of beta amyloid deposits which are characteristic of Alzheimer’s disease. And five Chinese studies have documented a lowering of IQ in children exposed to fluoride!

… Or, billboard benefits, as with these fascinations from a recent promotion for Your Money Report:

  • The #1 Secret of Landlords Who Get RICH: Doing this one thing can mean the difference between fat profits and a devastating loss! Page xx
  • Flipping For A Fortune? WATCH OUT! Ingenious strategy lets you make a bundle without ever owning a single property. BUT, it could also get you sued – or worse! Essential advice: Page xx
  • Beware of These “Landlord Landmines!” 3 easy ways to sidestep costly landlord/tenant traps. Page xx

… Or, create a label. This series, “7 Guilty Secrets Drug Companies Do NOT Want You To Know” was also touted on the cover of the piece as a reason to read the piece:


FACT #1: Drug Companies Kill Tens of Thousands Each Year: Many of today’s most-often prescribed medications are not only useless, but extremely dangerous – crippling and killing as many Americans each year as died in the 18 years of the Vietnam war.

FACT #2: They Do It Knowingly — For Money: The ultra-rich U.S. drug industry – the single most profitable businesses in America – is guilty of using bogus research, distorted reporting, and bald-faced lies to push deadly and ineffective drugs onto unsuspecting doctors and patients.

Non-Rule #13 – Go for Precision and Power:

A lot of experts say you should use short words. Write as if the prospect is an eighth-grader.

Some anal-retentive rule addicts have even gone so far as to instruct students to add up all the letters in each paragraph and divide by the number of words, and make sure that the average word is no more than five letters long!

Utter nonsense!

Here’s what I do …


o If a long word means precisely the same thing and carries the same emotional coloring as a shorter word, I’ll go with the shorter word.

I can’t stand to read or even talk to people who use longer words when shorter ones will do just fine: Who say “facilitate” when all they mean is “help” or “ease” … “compensate” when they mean “pay” … “Individual” when they mean a “guy” or a “gal” or “person” … or “sufficient” when they mean “enough!”

Nine times out of ten, I’ve found that people who write or talk like that are trying to hide something. Like massive insecurities. Or the fact that they have no idea what they’re talking about.

To quote William Zinsser’s advice in his classic, On Writing Well:

“Beware, then, of the long word that is no better than the short word: ‘numerous’ (many), ‘facilitate’ (ease), ‘individual’ (man or woman), ‘remainder’ (rest), ‘initial’ (first), ‘implement’ (do), ‘sufficient’ (enough), ‘attempt’ (try), ‘referred to as’ (called), and hundreds more.”

o But if a longer word – or even an entire phrase — more precisely conveys my meaning or more effectively invokes the emotion I’m going for, the longer word it is!

Non-Rule #14 – Short Sentences Rule!

This is a particular weakness of mine – I tend to string too many thoughts together … use hyphens and ellipses and other devices to connect them; and only wind up turning sentences into entire paragraphs in which the prospect eventually gets lost or has to read twice. (Damn – did it again!)

I don’t worry too much about it on my first drafts. That’s when I’m just trying to get everything out on paper. I try to fix my run-ons when I’m editing, later on.

As I edit my copy, I try to keep this advice in mind from the classic book on writing, The Elements of Style:

“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.”

Non-Rule #15 – Count Commas:

I view commas as warning flags in my copy. Sure – they could be there for a good reason: Like showing the proofreader that I do, in fact, know a thing or two about proper punctuation.

But often times, commas are a big red flag that tells me that I’ve got a run-on on my hands. Or even worse, they scream, “HEY, BOZO! You wrote this sentence UPSIDE DOWN!”

Consider …

“With only the finest of intentions, Clayton wrote his example.”

That comma in the above sentence is a dead-giveaway that something’s out of kilter. Wouldn’t it read faster if I merely said …

“Clayton wrote his example with only the finest of intentions.”

Non-Rule #16 – Use Connecting Words at the Beginning of Paragraphs:

In addition to communicating, every paragraph of great copy should also make a sale: It should “sell” the prospect on the idea of reading the next paragraph.

Early on, I learned that using conjunctions and other connecting words at the beginning paragraphs was a simple way to keep the momentum going: “And” … “Plus” … “But” … “Furthermore” … “Moreover” … “What’s more” … “And there’s more:” … “Even worse,” for example.

Hint: I like “and” better than “but.” “And” is positive. “But” is negative. I look for “buts” and try to replace them with “ands” wherever I can.

Non-Rule #17 – Look for Shortcuts to Keep the Momentum Going:

I make liberal use of contractions. After all — it’s how people talk! In fact, the only time I write “does not” instead of “doesn’t” is when the “not” is crucial to my meaning. And if it’s really crucial, I’ll add emphasis to it with an underline, italicizing it, capitalizing it, and in come cases, all of the above.

Non-Rule #18 – Be Specific:

Every generality in your text is a landmine. That will kill you.

Instead of merely saying “you’ll save time,” tell your prospect precisely how much time he’ll save. Don’t say, “Buy now and save!” Say, “You SAVE $99 by calling in the next 10 minutes!”

I actually read through each draft looking for excuses to add specifics to fully dimensionalize every problem and every promise.

Non-Rule #19 – Consider The Question:

Some folks think that asking the prospect a question – either in a headline or elsewhere in your copy is a mistake. “After all,” they say, “Declarative sentences are strong; questions are weak. And besides, how do you really know how the prospect will answer?”

But sometimes questions aren’t weak. Sometimes, they’re hypothetical – and make a very strong declarative statement. A headline I wrote for Louis Navallier – a head that mailed successfully for more than a year — once asked …

What’s wrong with getting richer QUICKER?

The copy went on to say:

I’ve made money slow, and I’ve made money fast. Believe me: Fast is better!

That head wasn’t a really question. It was a cry of defiance from impatient investors who were sick and tired of being told to cool their jets.

In the pre-head of a recent direct mail piece for Your Money Report, I wrote …


o Suspicious of corporate CEOs who lie about their earnings?

o Fed up with stockbrokers who tout lousy stocks – and get rich even when you don’t?

o Impatiently waiting for the profits Wall Street promises you – but never delivers?

It’s time for you to join millions of your fellow Americans who grew rich when they finally said …

“Thanks for nothing, Wall Street –

I’d Rather Do It MYSELF!”

Used properly, questions can often be used to demonstrate that you already know and empathize with the answer. And they can also be a great way to demonstrate the horrifying alternative — as I did in this P.S. for an investment newsletter …


P.S. What if I’m right? What if I really can help you avoid losses and even profit when tech stocks tumble? How will you feel, licking your wounds and knowing that if you had just said, “YES,” to this generous offer, you could have made a killing?

Please – for your sake – let me hear from you today. If I can’t help you, my service costs you nothing. If I can, you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.

Non-Rule #20 – When in Doubt, Cut it Out:

After I’ve completed a draft, I often realize that my best lead is buried a few paragraphs down in the copy. Moving or deleting the first few paragraphs — or even the first page — would get us off to a much faster start.

Another weakness of mine: Excessive repetition. I tend to over-write key paragraphs, or write a key paragraph several different ways. Second drafts are the perfect time to spot this needless repetition and condense several graphs into one, short, punchy one.

Non-Rule #21 – Break the Rules!

Never let the fact that a particular technique is frowned upon prevent you from using it. Follow every road that opens up before you as you write. Explore every unbeaten path. Don’t let that left-brained party-pooper who lives inside you kill what could be a great idea before you’ve had time to fully develop it. Even if you later agree that it doesn’t work, you’ve learned something. And if it does work, you’ve made a breakthrough.

Hope this helps!

Writing Sales Copy – Make Your Product’s Benefits Sparkle!

o Are “Faux Benefits” killing your sales copy?

o Why product features are far more important than you’ve been led to believe …

o The simple secret to exploding your sales results in just five easy steps …

o And MORE!

Dear Business-Builder,

The other day, I had the dubious pleasure of reviewing sales copy submitted by a new group of my beloved cubs – each of whom has read The Masters and even completed courses on copywriting … and each of whom I believe has the innate talent to (eventually) become one of the greats.

Each cub was told to write benefit-oriented headlines for a series of natural supplement products.

The first headline jumped up and shouted …

Get Off The Hormone Roller Coaster!

“Well,” I said to myself, “THAT certainly sucks!” And so I turned to the next one …

Balance Blood Sugar Levels Naturally!

… And the next …

Flush Deadly Toxins Out Of Your Colon!

“Whoo boy,” I said out loud, “I should be getting combat pay for this!”

See, not a single one of those “benefit-based” headlines contains a single real benefit! Instead, each contains a “Faux Benefit” – a product feature masquerading as a benefit!

Apply my patented “forehead slap” test to each of those headlines and you’ll see what I mean.


o Have you ever been awakened in the middle of the night … sat bolt upright in bed … slapped yourself on the forehead and exclaimed, “Holy Moley – I gotta get off of the hormone roller coaster?”

o When was the last time you were jarred out of a deep sleep exclaiming “Jeez Louise – I need to balance my blood sugar levels naturally!”

o And have you EVER jumped out of a warm bed to holler, “I gotta flush some deadly toxins out of my colon!”

No? Me neither!

Have you ever found yourself feeling eager to PAY for a product that would do any of those things for you?

Nope? Join the club!

I mean – getting off the hormone roller coaster sounds like it might be a good thing. On the other hand, roller coasters are fun. Heck, people pay money to get ONTO them!

I suppose balancing blood sugar levels is good, too. And if you’re making a list of folks who are “all for” flushing deadly toxins out of my colon – or any other part of my body for that matter – put me at the top of it.

But are these really benefits our prospects crave – and are willing to pay for?

Of course not. Our “hormone balancing” prospects want to stop having hot flashes and mood swings and stop losing their libidos.

Why? Well, for one thing, because hot flashes and mood swings are irritating – even miserable. And for another – drilling down even deeper – because all of these things threaten the intimacy and security of their primary relationships. Nobody wants to be a hormone hermit!

Nobody really wants to balance their blood sugar levels, either. But anyone in his or her right mind DOES want to avoid the misery of blindness … cold, numb, painful limbs … amputation … and premature death that go along with diabetes.

And frankly, while “flushing toxins out of my colon” is nowhere near the top of my personal “to do” list, I WOULD prefer not to be constipated, or plagued with uncontrollable diarrhea, or have to poop in a bag for the rest of my life, or die from colon cancer.

The Faux Benefits heralded in these headlines are mechanisms … processes … product features that deliver benefits. They are not, in themselves, real benefits that anybody craves or wants to pay for.

My beloved copy cubs failed to drill down to the real, bottom-line, rubber-meets-the-road benefit each product provides – the tangible, measurable, real value they bring to prospects’ lives: The value that prospects are willing to – once again – pay for. This is a cardinal and common sin even among more seasoned copywriters – and that business owners and marketing execs too often let us get away with.

Here’s another: Failing to fully explore the benefits that each benefit provides. In short, squeezing every feature until you’ve explored every benefit … and then squeezing every benefit for the secondary benefits IT provides.

Confused? Me too – sometimes, anyway. Let’s work through this together …

Benefits 101

Let’s start with four basic facts …

1. Every product has features: Features are merely objective facts about a product (or the company behind it). In three-dimensional products, features include size, shape, weight, construction, color options and more.

In information products, features include number of pages, size, frequency of publication (for periodicals) and the types of information that are presented.

2. Fortunately, most features are there for a darned good reason: Prospects don’t want features. They want you to change their lives for the better.

Product features are merely the means to that end. That means features can have a place in ad copy – like telling prospects how many issues they’ll get per year … how many big pages are in your book … or that your widget is made from carbon steel for strength or carbon fiber for lightness.

Beyond that, features are a yawn because they’re about the product; not about the prospect. Or, as in the examples above, they can help demonstrate how your product delivers a benefit.

The good news is, just about every product fact – every feature – is there to provide a benefit that your prospect IS willing to pay for.

3. There are more benefits associated with each product feature than are dreamt of by most copywriters: Benefits are like bunny rabbits: Give them a little time and they’ll begin multiplying – each benefit or combination of benefits producing one, two, three or more new benefits you never thought about before.

The secret to kick-butt sales copy is to identify each and every benefit a product provides – and then to look at each benefit and ask, “What does THAT do for me? What additional benefits does that benefit provide?”

4. Your prospect has strong feelings about every dimensionalized benefit you present: Connecting each fully dimensionalized product benefit with a strong emotion that your prospect already has about the benefit (or the lack of it in his/her life) makes sales copy irresistible.

Benefits that sing and soar – in five simple steps

Here’s a little exercise to help you drill down to the benefits prospects are willing to pay for … fully dimensionalize those benefits … and then connect those benefits with powerful response-boosting emotions that your prospect already has about those benefits (or the lack of them) in his life.

By the time you’re through, you will have a complete list of company and product features … you will have squeezed every possible benefit out of those features … you will have fully dimensionalized those benefits … and you will have connected each one to a powerful emotion your prospect has about each one of them.

In short, you’ll have a comprehensive “features/benefits/dominant emotion” inventory you can refer to as you write your sales copy.

I do NOT suggest that you do this on every project. After a while, this kind of thinking comes naturally. But even for more advanced writers – and especially for folks who supervise writers – going through this exercise can go a long way towards finding new themes and adding power to your promotions.

To begin, create a spreadsheet with these headings: Feature … Why? … Benefits … Dimensionalize … Dominant Emotions … Rank.

Step #1: Create a Comprehensive FEATURES Inventory

If you’ve read any books or taken any courses on direct response copywriting, you’ve probably learned that features are immaterial. Only benefits matter. Only problem is, that’s just horse-pucky.

Features are the fathers of each benefit your product provides. And if every product benefit has its roots in a product feature, identifying and fully understanding each feature is essential to identifying all the benefits your product provides.

And so, if features are the fathers of benefits, it makes sense to begin at the beginning – by listing all the key facts about 1) The business and 2) The product or service you’re promoting.

Start by answering the following questions about the company and the spokesperson behind the product in the first column of your table …

A. “What are your qualifications?” What degrees or certifications have you earned in your field of endeavor? From which institutions? What associations are you a member of? How many years have you provided this product or service?

How many customers (patients, clients, etc.) have you served? Are you the largest or oldest in your area of expertise? What specialties do you offer that your competitors don’t?

B. “What resources do you use to produce a superior product or service?” How large an army are you putting to work on the prospect’s behalf? Who are the stand-out players? What unique or proprietary tools do you use to produce the desired result?

Do you have custom computer programs or hardware that nobody else has? How many customer service reps are available to make ordering comfortable and easy? How many service techs are on your payroll who can respond when the product needs service?

C. “How is your location a factor?” Are you closer to your prospects than your competition? Are your headquarters impressive-looking? Is your office close to a major intersection or freeway off-ramp? Do you offer plenty of free parking?

Or, if you’re promoting a product for a national company, how does its location help you produce a superior product? Are you offering an investment product that’s produced on Wall Street or anywhere in New York, for example? Or are you selling a politically oriented product that’s produced in or near Washington DC?

D. “What’s your reaction time?” Are appointments readily available? Do you perform your service faster than your competition does? If I order this product, how fast will I get it?

E. Inventory: How many different products do you have available? How does that compare to what your competitors offer?

Now, it’s time to really start digging – with answers about the product or service you’re offering …

A. Purpose: What, exactly, does your product or service do? If it accomplishes several things, great – list everything you can think of!

B. Physical dimensions: How does your product compare to competing products? Is it smaller? Bigger? Lighter? Heavier duty?

If it’s a published product, how many pages are in the book or the regular issues of the newsletter or magazine? Is the page size larger that what the prospect may be used to?

Are there illustrations, charts, or graphs? Is it written simply – in a way that’s easy to understand? Does it give clear, concise directions that anyone could follow? How many times do customers hear from your client each year (count regular issues, bonus issues, e-mail alerts, web site updates, etc.)? What regular features are included?

If you offer nutritional supplements, are your pills smaller than the competition’s? Does the prospect have to take fewer of them, or take them just once a day? What are the ingredients? Are they fresher than those used by some other competitors? More absorbable? More potent?

C. Performance metrics: How quickly can your product be delivered, installed and/or begin producing results? How fast does your product complete the desired task? How thoroughly does it do its job? How long does it last? How do your product’s performance metrics compare to similar products offered by your competitors?

For investment products, what results has it produced for investors in the recent past? How did it perform at key turning points in the economy or markets – the tech wreck of 2000, or the gold price explosion of the 1970s, for example? How and when did it help prevent investors from making major blunders?

For health products, how fast does it work? How can I know it’s working? What studies have proven that it works? Or for information merchants, what health breakthroughs were you the first to publicize? How else does the past performance of the author, editor or the product itself demonstrate the superiority or indispensability of the product?

D. Credibility: What have customers, subscribers, peers and others said about your product or service? What guarantees and/or warranties come with it? How do they compare to what the competition offers?

E. Available options: What choices does your product offer to prospects? What colors or sizes does it come in? How do your terms make ordering the best fit possible for customers? Is it customizable in any way? How do these choices make your product superior to the competition?

F. Timeliness: How quickly can your product be delivered and/or installed? How does this compare with the competition?

G. Pricing: What are your prices? How do they compare to the competition? Do you deliver more for the money? Or does your product’s quality demand a higher price?

If applicable, divide your price by the numbers 12, 52 and 365 — and then write down the product’s cost per month, week and day.

These are just a few idea-starters — please do not stop here!

Use this opportunity to think through every step of the process that your prospects experience when shopping for, buying and using your product or service.

Step #2: Attach a “Why” to Each Feature

The next step is to figure out why these features are included in the product or service, and then to turn those reasons into tangible benefits that will bring value to the customer’s life.

So now, in the “WHY?” column next to each feature, enter the benefits each feature provides.

Example: If you’re selling a high quality drill bit, your entry might look like this:


Feature: Constructed of carbon steel.

Why: Never wears out.

On the other hand, if you’re promoting a dentist, your list might look like this:


Feature: A TV in every exam room.

Why: More comfortable for the patient and time passes more quickly.

The “why” for an investment newsletter might go like this …


Feature: Daily e-zine included with subscription to monthly newsletter.

Why: Stocks move fast; opportunities could be lost without split-second updates.

Or, if you’re writing for a book on health, you might write …


Feature: Specific prescription for each age group on each supplement recommended.

Why: To eliminate reader confusion.

Attach as many “whys” to each feature as you can. My guess is that as you review your completed list, you’ll be getting pretty excited. And for good reason: Your brain is already beginning to take the next step — visualizing how these features improve your customers’ lives!

Step #3: Turn Features into Benefits

The simple act of completing Steps #1 and #2 above could easily multiply sales and profits at tens of thousands of businesses from coast to coast — merely by shifting the spotlight off of the advertiser and his product or service and on to why their features are important to the customer.

But still, we focused entirely on a company and a product or service. Now, we’re going to bring your prospect into the picture — and answer the question, “What’s in it for me? How does each of these features — these facts about the business and product or service — directly connect with and improve my life?”

Think about how each feature and “Reason Why” benefits your customer, and list every possible way each one of them brings value to your prospect’s life. We’re going to ask the one question that’s constantly at the forefront of your customer’s mind: “What’s in it for me?”

And we’re going to answer by listing the problems your product or service solves … the desires it fulfills … and the future disasters it will help your customers avoid.

Be sure to think about immediate benefits as well as those the customer will experience later on. If you’re selling one-hour oil changes for example, you can save your customer oodles of time right now, today. But you also make it easy for him to properly maintain the family chariot, thereby helping him avoid an inconvenient or even dangerous breakdown and costly repairs later on.

Write each benefit as a “you” statement — as if you’re talking face-to-face with your prospective customer, patient or client. Then, go back over your list of benefits … look at each one … and ask yourself, “What additional benefits does this benefit bring to my life?” Keep drilling down until you hit the Mother Lode – the benefits that mean the most and bring the most value to prospects’ lives.

Step #4: Dimensionalize each benefit

I don’t know who first coined the word “dimensionalize.” I do know that it drives my spell-checker bonkers, so it’s probably not in any dictionary you’ll ever see.

But the word “dimensionalize” does a great job of describing what “A” level copywriters do – the extra mile we travel to make sure each benefit in our sales copy is as compelling as possible.

When you “dimensionalize” a benefit, you give it added dimension by painting word pictures of all the ways the prospect will enjoy that benefit. You compare that benefit with those offered by others. You add specifics that demonstrate all the ways the benefit will enrich the prospect’s life.

When you’ve finished, your list may look something like this, for example:


Feature: Constructed of carbon steel.

Why: Never wears out.

Benefit: The last drill bit you’ll ever buy.

Dimensionalized Benefit: You can save up to $75 a year in broken drill bits … hours of unnecessary trips to the hardware store … and hundreds of dollars in lost income!

Or in our hypothetical promotion for a dentist, your list might look like this:


Feature: A TV in every exam room.

Why: More comfortable for the patient and time passes more quickly.

Benefit: Your appointment is over before you know it!

Dimensionalized benefit: Great for fidgety kids: The time zips by. In fact, just last week, little Jimmy asked if he could stay longer.

The benefit drawn from a feature offered by an investment newsletter might go like this …


Feature: Daily e-zine included with subscription to monthly newsletter.

Why: Stocks move fast; opportunities could be lost without constant updates.

Benefit: You’ll never get caught wondering what to do when major events break!

Dimensionalize: You’ll lock in your profits when the market sags and go for even greater profit potential by getting into each up-move on the ground floor.

Or, if you’re writing for a book on health, your list might look something like this …


Feature: Specific prescription for each age group on each supplement recommended.

Why: To eliminate reader confusion.

Dimensionalize: You’ll always know precisely what you should be taking … how much you should be taking … and even when to take it.

Step #5: Connect each dimensionalized benefit with a dominant resident emotion

Identify how your prospect is likely to feel about each of the dimensionalized benefits on your list.

Do NOT stop at listing just one emotion per benefit. Think about how the prospect feels about the lack of this benefit in his or her life now. And about how the prospect will feel as he or she is enjoying that benefit. And about how they’ll feel as others see them doing things better … being healthier … richer … happier.

When you’re done, review your inventory and rate each benefit/emotion combination on a scale of one to five. As you assign each ranking, think about three things:


1) The relative importance of the improvement each benefit brings to prospects’ lives: A benefit that can prevent cancer would be scored higher than one that merely produces sweeter breath, for example …

2) The relative number of prospects most likely to covet that particular improvement: More people are likely to have arthritis than cancer …

3) The relative intensity of the emotion(s) connected to each benefit.

Finally, sort the entire spreadsheet by these rankings in descending order.

When you’re done, you’ll have systematically created a comprehensive inventory of features, benefits and dominant emotions for your product.

Then, USE your inventory to make sure you press every possible hot button as you begin writing your sales copy – and please, for mercy’s sake – to get real, dimensionalized, emotionalized BENEFITS into your lead copy!

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