November 2022 - Page 11 of 12

Two Magic Words That Will Guarantee Your Success!

There are two magic words in the English language that define a person’s overall success. They are words that have been around since people started working. These single two words define a person’s character, how they live and what they achieve, whether that achievement be physical, financial or social. They describe who a person is and what they are all about. What are these to magic words? Well, they’re really not magic at all.

The two “magic” words I speak of are “WORK ETHIC”. I find this lacking, especially in younger people. Some young people have the notion that a good work ethic is nothing more than just showing up for work or showing up to do your job. They compare and justify and confuse this concept with people who are just plain lazy or just don’t want to work. You can still “show up for your job” and sit around all day, “shoot the breeze” and do nothing, and claim you have a good work ethic just because you are there physically at your place of employment. Just showing up for your job is NOT having a good work ethic.

I was in a fast food restaurant a while back, just getting something to go. It was about 1:45 in the afternoon and I was the only one in line. There were two young girls at the counter. I must have stood there for a full three minutes after I had taken my eyes off the menu to figure out what I wanted before one of them decided I was important enough to come up to take my order. When I finally did place the order I paid for it with my credit card and this girl not only couldn’t understand or get my order correct (I had to repeat it several times) but she didn’t have the training or skills to correctly complete the transaction on the credit card machine. (Probably because she didn’t pay attention while she was being trained.)

When she was getting to the point of total frustration, she TOLD me could I pay in cash. I said I would rather pay by credit card because it was a business expense and I wanted a record of it on my card statement. She actually started arguing with me over this and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to pay in cash. Well, we got over that hurdle. Like I mentioned, because of the time of day, I was the only one standing in line. This girl was the slowest person I ever saw in my life. She spent most of her time talking with the other girl and then (while I was still waiting for her to put my small order together) she had the nerve to pull out her cell phone and call her boyfriend to start a conversation with him.

She finally got me my order and when I checked it before leaving, I found the order was missing two things I paid for. When I “interrupted” her while she was still on the phone with her bo’, (to tell her about the mistake she made) she gave me the dirtiest look for bothering her. Well, she finally got the order to me, I said thank you, and she didn’t say a word back to me. No apology for the mistake, no thank you, NOTHING. She casually went back to talking on the phone with her boyfriend and as I was leaving, I heard her start mentioning to him about the whole encounter and what a jerk I was.

If you work for an employer, even if you hate your job, that employer is paying you a salary to do the best job that you possibly can. Your attitude has allot to do with this. Even If you dislike your job and you take an “I don’t care” attitude about it, people will pick up on that through your body language. They will not want to work with you, they will not want to even be around you because you demonstrate a lousy negative attitude. This can really affect you if you are trying to advance your career. No Boss is ever going to think about even considering you for a promotion if your attitude at your present position stinks. Take pride in what you do. If you sweep streets for a living, be the best street sweeper that company has ever seen.

That is what a good work ethic is. Showing up for work everyday is just a small part of the process. Having a good attitude while you work, being attentive to other co-worker’s needs (or your bosses needs.) Put a smile on your face, and a spring in your step. Most of all, doing the best you can by working hard everyday and don’t goof off. When an employer sees that you are putting out your best on a regular basis, you will get noticed. It may take time, but it will work out for you in the long run.

This especially applies if you are in business for yourself. Getting up every morning, “putting your head down and going to work” everyday will yield success in your business. Remember, in your own business, (if you work alone) no one is watching you to make sure you are doing your job. That is a discipline you control. It can be real easy to just “sluff off” and do nothing all day and think because you can work anytime, you’ll just do it later. But just like with a job outside the home, you have to work and do your best if you want to see the Success that you desire for you and your family.

How to Save Money When Planning a Bachelor Party

Back in the 70s and 80s, planning a bachelor was a simple task; bestowed upon friends, relatives or the best man. An empty basement, a keg of beer, a dart board and some wild movies sufficed. Today, bachelor party planning is a multi-million dollar industry, with every restaurant, night club, and adult entertainment venue in the nation getting into the act. In fact, there are multiple companies on the internet which are more than willing to take your money and plan the event. Some offer discounts on limos, free admission to bars, entertainment, and discounted bar packages at various venues. The price for these services can be steep, but if you’re willing to spend a little time doing research and making a few phone calls, you can significantly reduce the price of the bachelor party.

Saving Money on Transportation

Limo services can often be terribly expensive and charge unreasonable hourly rates. Depending on the type of vehicle chosen, prices can increase greatly. For example, full blown hummer limo can cost a few hundred dollars more than a stretch sedan. Larger limousine companies will often tack on extra fees for including alcohol, snacks, and for stops along the way. You can cut the cost in half by finding a small company in your area, which allows you to bring your own drinks. My best advice is to ask if the limo service has a party van or small bus, and charges a flat fee. Because the limo industry is so competitive, smaller, private companies can be more personable, and much more likely to cut a deal. Additionally, smaller limousine services are not as likely to rush your group through the night and ruin the bachelor’s experience. If you are staying at a hotel, utilize the hotel’s consigner and van drivers to save money on planning bachelor party transportation. Remember, the staff at your hotel is all about customer service, and is there to make sure you have a good time. Simply go to the bellhop stand and let them know you have a bachelor party and want to go to a hot spot. Most upscale hotels offer this service for free, and only a modest tip is expected for the service.

Saving money on Strippers and Strip Clubs

Hiring a stripper or visiting a strip club has become tradition when it comes to making plans for the groom. Adult entertainment has made bachelor party planning a cottage industry and can seriously drain funds for the evening if you’re not careful. To begin with, hiring a private stripper almost always requires an hourly rate. Private agencies will offer a stripper, but then tack on more money, depending on if the private show is topless, or nude. Prices can skyrocket to nearly $300.00 for an exotic dancer to strip at your location. Worse yet, private strippers are often in a hurry because they have other bachelor parties to schedule-especially on weekends! To save money, call an agency and ask exactly what’s included in their fantasy show. Ask for a flat fee, and make sure to let the agency know that you expect the clock to start ticking, once the girl begins dancing. Many strippers will show up at the bachelor party, hang out with the guys and only perform at the very end. This can be a complete downer for the evening and leave the groom bored, disappointed and with nothing else to do. A better option is combining a private stripper and a strip club in the same evening. Strip clubs are hungry for bachelor party business. Most, if not all offer some sort of discount or price reduction for large parties. In many instances, strip clubs will allow the entire party to come in for free. Strip clubs also offer fantastic bar packages, VIP seating and discounts on bottle service. If responsible for planning the bachelor party, look online for strip clubs or adult entertainment in your area. Ask the club what sort of deals and specials they offer for a bachelor party. A plethora of gentlemen’s clubs are willing to match or beat the price of their competitors, so make sure to tell the club what other places are offering. Strip clubs are also willing to throw in extra perks if you’re party has dinner. Yes, many adult clubs today have restaurants or cater in food. The newest, craze is having the bachelor brought on stage and having a few girls give a wild dance. Some clubs offer this service at a very affordable and reasonable price. Strip clubs are also a less expensive alternative because the groom has a large selection of strippers to choose from. He can have table dances or private dances, depending on his preferences. Table dances at many clubs only cost $10.00 to $20.00 and can be a lot of fun. In my opinion, the best bet is to have a private stripper during the first part of the evening, and then head to a strip club. Done correctly, the groom will have a great time and your party will defiantly save money.

Save Money on Bars

One of the best ways to save money for a bachelor party is to find a pub crawl. In many cities, bars come together and offer unbelievable specials during weekends for bachelor parties. Typically, each person in the party pays a small fee (Prices range from $10-$30) for the evening. Pub crawls are wonderful because they include food, beer, wine and mixed drinks at each location. For example, the party starts off drinking and eating at the first location, and then moves on to other places through out the night. The initial price paid covers most of the costs at each spot. One of the most attractive aspects of pub crawling is it eliminates the need for hiring transportation. In larger cities, the bars and taverns are usually strewn across the same area, so you’re party can easily walk from place to place. To find a good pub crawl, just go on the web and look for companies near the bachelor party location.

Planning a bachelor party can be difficult, expensive and a hassle. By doing a little homework, you can save money and make sure the groom and your friends have a memorable evening!

The Secret Seduction Society Part III

The history of the seduction community.

There have been many infamous seducers throughout history ranging from Casanova to even Elvis Presley. But no group or society of people existed for any length of time who shared information between each other that really worked.

The first book on the general topic of flirting with and seducing women was written by Eric Weber in 1970 and called “How to Pickup Girls”. A pretty basic book by today’s standards and knowledge of social dynamics but it still set the path for the beginnings of the seduction society.

In the early 1980’s two Californian seduction and dating gurus emerged and started teaching their own brand of advice on how to meet women.

One of these was a guy by the name of “R. Don Steele”. His theories on the art of flirting are mainly influenced by Russian born American writer and philosopher Ayn Rand and her theories of “objectivism”. In the method he called the “Steel Balls” approach, Steele focuses more on teaching men over 35 to meet and seduce young women. Or at least women who are younger than the students themselves.

The second name to emerge was that of “Ross Jeffries”. His theories on attracting women are mainly influenced by hypnosis experts and writers Grinder and Bandler and their theories on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Ross’s seduction style and collection of ideas are called “Speed Seduction” or (SS) for short.

In an attempt to market Speed Seduction, in 1994 Ross Jeffries had Lewis De Payne, then a student, create the Internet newsgroup called alt.seduction.fast (ASF).

The ASF newsgroup really was the true birth of the seduction society. It enabled a small number of men and the odd woman from all around the world to exchange ideas, flirting tips and reports on what worked for them. The main reason that community members use handles and nicknames to this day is because these nicknames were the online names they used on the original ASF newsgroup.

What made the community different from more main stream advice at the time was both the non-politically correct approach that seemed to sit well with guys and unlike most mainstream advice, some of the methods really did work!

Because the community used newsgroups to communicate most people had no idea how to access them or what they even were. So from the beginning the society was only available to those computer savvy enough to access it. For a few years the ASF newsgroup and Ross’s Speed Seduction was the main focus of the community and Ross was the acknowledged guru with little challenge from anyone else. Ross then wrote his book “How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed”.

Around this time male escort NathanX (aka Nathan Xavier) and now sex coach joined the community in search of advice on how to improve establishing quicker rapport with female clients to help them relax and enjoy sex more. He then started contributing to the small community.

Eventually the un-moderated ASF newsgroup became overwhelmed with too many posts, spam and flames. Ray Gordon, another self proclaimed seduction guru, was a large contributor to the flames and spam on the group.

In order to moderate the posts, the “Learn the Skills Corporation” created a moderated alternative to ASF known as “Moderated ASF” (mASF) and Ray Gordon was banned forever. The PUA formhandle took over the running of this group.

Ross Jeffries had had a long run as the leading guru of the community, but from around 2000 onwards other men in the community were coming forward as alternative teachers or gurus. Ross gradually lost his position and status as the main guru as different methods and competing theories emerged.

Some of the best theories, seduction tips and methods were collected together into what was called the “Lay Guide”. Which was really just a collection of posts from the various top pickup artists of the time such as Mystery, Ross, Manic high, Grand Master Flash, Nathan and so on. The “Lay Guide” in more recent times even became a published book and is available on Amazon. It was good for what it was for the time but is a little dated in its explanation of social dynamics now.

Next an ex-student of Ross Jeffries’, David DeAngelo, started teaching his own theories and methods. Allegedly Ross tried to steal David DeAngelo’s girlfriend of the time and they subsequently fell out over it. What really actually happened only they know. Suffice to say David broke away from Ross and created his own school called “Double Your Dating”.

David DeAngelo’s approach (Cocky and Funny) was a lot more politically correct than Ross’ and was able to enter into more mainstream media and became more accepted by it. Ross never really tried to angle his approach so he could reach a wider more mainstream media in the way David has over the years.

Ross has drifted further and further away from the community and hasn’t been present at any the large scale conventions, such as the Cliff’s List ones, for the last few years. This may in some part be due to the fact that he sees all other methods other than his own as copies of his original theories and as such, inferior to his own. So much so he was nicknamed “mine99” for claiming too often that he had already developed theories during his 1999 conference – the joke here being that whatever new theory came out, Ross would claim it as his own and reference his conference of 1999. Even to this day he is refereed to solely as Mine99 by some people.

Without doubt Ross was, and always will be the Godfather of modern seduction and the seduction community. Without Ross there would have been no secret community learning how to meet women and we would not be as advanced as we are in the understanding of social dynamics.

Much of Ross’ terminology and general ideology is still in use even though he has fallen out of general favour.

Another man to come forward was a Canadian who goes by the name of Mystery (aka Erik Von Markovik). Mystery’s style came through an understanding of social skills based upon his performances as a street magician. Mystery’s style was originally called FMAC, Find, Meet, Attract, Close but later evolved to the name The Mystery Method.

Many of the terms still used by the community like “routine” and “set” are taken from terms magicians use and introduced by Mystery.

Mystery method didn’t use the NLP patterns like in Ross’s Speed Seduction and for some guys seemed more natural and less manipulative of women.

Mystery’s approach became popular and he was the first person to take students out “in field” (a community term) into night clubs to demo his own methods and critique his students in what are now called “boot camps” or “workshops”.

One of Mystery’s first students was the writer Neil Strauss, who went by the community handle of “Style”. Neil originally joined the community assess the possibility of writing a book on the people of this odd ball secret community.

Neil, or “Style”, became extremely accomplished in approaching women, seducing women, how to flirt and social dynamics and eventually became a seduction coach himself.

Project Hollywood was born. Mystery, Style, Juggler, Herbal, TD and others rented a mansion in the Hollywood hills and started teaching hundreds and hundreds of students. Other lairs and projects started forming all over the world in Sydney, London, New York and so on.

Neil wrote an article in 2001 for the New York Times detailing his exploits in the community. This spring boarded his book entitled “The Game” which came out some time later and become a top seller.

Many other names, schools and coaches emerged during the period following 2002 onwards as the community became bigger and bigger. Around 2004 saw the more general commercialization of the community as more and more schools were offering and selling products, bootcamps and workshops.

The difference between the community and mainstream dating advice was that the “community” instructors were actually going out day and night testing and improving their methods “in field”. The top guys in the community could seduce a woman every night if they wanted to and had gotten their skills down to a science. The academic and mainstream community was and still is years behind on a practical level of applied seduction techniques.

Neil Strauss’s book “The Game” was released around September and October of 2005 and hit the New York Times best-seller list. Neil compared the community to a men’s self-help movement and the book detailed his journey from being really poor with women to a seduction master.

The “Community” was forever changed when “The Game” was released. The secret society was no longer any great secret. Literally thousands of guys were joining the seduction lairs each week. The once secret society of geeks who had become masters with women had now got itself a mainstream platform. People saw that what these guys were doing was working and people wanted a part of it.

Just after the release of “The Game” hundreds of guys were signing up to learn seduction skills at various gurus workshops and bootcamps wanting to know the secrets.

Neil appeared on a number of TV programs to promote “The Game” including Richard and Judy in the UK and The View in the US.

Later Wayne “Juggler” Elise hosted a TV series in the UK, on Channel Four called “Seduction School” all about teaching guys how to get better with women. Even more people became aware of the community.

The teachers and schools of the community gained more and more commercial success and became more professional businesses. These include the Badboy lifestyle, Real Social Dynamics, PUA Training, Style Life, Charisma Arts, Pickup 101, Swinggcat Method and Master Your Sex Life.

Each dating school now teaches their own style and specializes in their own theories. For example online flirting, night clubs, day game, rapport building, confidence and so on.

In 2006 former male escort NathanX formed “Master Your Sex Life” (MYSL). This was and is the only school of sexual self improvement for men where techniques can been seen and learned live in their totally unique live workshops. Master Your Sex Life is the only company to specialize in the whole arena of sexual self improvement. Every other school teaches dating advice only.

In 2006 Mystery split with his long term business partner Savoy and The Mystery Method corporation to form the Venusian Arts corporation. The Mystery Method still continues but without Mystery as an instructor.

2007 saw the release of the book “The Mystery Method : The fool proof way to get any woman you want into bed”. Mystery took the community more mainstream by appearing on programs like the US Conan O’Brien Show to promote his book.

August 2007 will see the new reality show called “The Pickup Artist” on VH1 following Mystery, Matador and J-Dog as they teach guys how to go from likable, quirky personalities who have trouble getting women into “Master Pick Up Artists”

Estimated 2007/2008, the movie based on Neil Strauss’s book “The Game” and the seduction society has now been optioned by Sony. It is planned to be directed and produced by the brothers Chris and Paul Weitz who also directed American Pie.

Another awesome thing that will come out of the community is the long awaited “Sexual Mastery for Men” product by NathanX. Said to be 10 volumes of DVDs/CDs and book on sexual mastery. Teaching all his secrets skills learnt from 10 years working as a male escort to women. It is said to be hitting stores in Europe and the US in 2008 and is set to reshape sexual understanding for men.

Other seduction schools and trainers from the community are also know to be in talks for various TV shows and series around the world. So you are sure to see lots more dating gurus with funny names on your TV over the next few months and years.

Gradually, the art of seduction and secret seduction community has gone from nerds on a newsgroup to large scale commercial success as it now helps tens of thousands of men every day improve their sexual, social and romantic skills. If all these guys are learning these skills its obvious that those who don’t know will be left behind.

The quality of the available information on social dynamics, sexual skills and how to succeed with women has vastly improved. The knowledge of what’s sexually possible and how to massively improve on our sexual skills beyond what most guys think is possible is available to learn today. Maybe it’s time you looked into the world of seduction and found out what’s possible.

"The Day That Turns Your Life Around" by Jim Rohn – A Program Review

The Day That Turns Your Life Around. “Remarkable Success Ideas that Can Change Your Life in an Instant.”

In this six CD, 12 lesson program, motivational master Jim Rohn shares the story of his life changing day with you, and shows you how to consciously create the conditions that make dramatic lasting personal transformation not only possible, but inevitable. Jim’s life changing day involved an incident with a Girl Scout. That incident led him on a journey to heights of fame and fortune that few of us will ever achieve. Have you had that life changing day yet, or are you still waiting?

Some people waste years, and even their entire lives waiting for that magic moment that will change their lives for the better. But those people whose lives really do change in dramatic ways, can almost always trace the change back to something much simpler than magic. One moment, one realization, one action, one step that put them on a completely different path – and ultimately led them to their dreams.

The good news is that once you understand the four emotional states that can change your life, you can generate them within yourself at will, rather than waiting for external circumstances to activate them.

Let’s look at the 6 CD’s of this great program. Each CD is divided into two sessions, making 12 sessions in all. Here are some tidbits from the sessions:

Session One – “Today is a New Day” – Jim shares with you the day that turned his life around, and talks about life’s adventures – the little devil on one shoulder and the little angel on the other – both giving advice. What voice do you listen to? He ends the session with a story about “making something out of nothing.”

Session Two – “The Major Ingredients of Life Change” – Jim talks about emotions that can change your life, and shares some philosophies to live by including; “Profits are better than wages – Wages make you a living, profits can make you a fortune”, and one of my favorites “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.”

Session Three and Session Four – “How to Make a Life, Not Just a Living” – Jim’s short list on the good life, and words of wisdom including “Beware of what and who you become, in pursuit of what you want.”

Session Five – “The Pro vs. The Amateur; Keys to Thriving in Tough Times” – Jim shares his greatest setbacks and what he did to bounce back – and, by showing the difference between the professional and the amateur response to problems – shows how you can do it too.

Session Six – “Financial Strategies for a New Age” – Jim’s philosophical foundation for financial independence, and his suggestions for achieving wealth along with giving and sharing. Stuff they don’t teach in school, and good advice parents should pass along to their kids.

Session Seven – “How to Protect Your Time” – Time management essentials to help you reach your goals. How to avoid “Being online but off-track”.

Session Eight – “Where the True Wealth Lies” – Identifying your core values, nurturing your “inner circle” and the challenge of balancing work and family life and becoming a World-class” parent and grandparent.

Session Nine – “The Goal Setting Workshop” – Great session. Jim actually takes you through a personal goal setting workshop from one of his weekend seminars.

Session Ten – “Success Can Be Simple” – Jim’s simple approach to life learned from “Things my mama taught me” and how he uses hard and fast decisions to simplify his life.

Session Eleven – “The Magic of a Mentor” – Although I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Jim personally, through his books and programs he has been one of my mentors for many years, and I can attest to the “Magic of a Mentor” he discusses in this session. He goes on to show how you too can be a mentor, and make a difference in the lives of others.

Session Twelve – “Leadership Skills for the 21st Century” – The skills of leadership wisdom presented with witty sayings like “Don’t expect a pear tree to bear apples” and ending with the story of the frog and the scorpion (“that’s what scorpions do”).

In summary, if you are you are dissatisfied or unhappy with your life, and would like to change it, “The Day That Turns Your Life Around” will give you the tools to make any change you want to. And, as Jim says, you will be astonished by how quickly and easily it happens. I highly recommend this program. It can turn your life around!

Crocheting Benefits: Why People Love To Crochet

There are many reasons why people love to crochet.

For one, crocheting is therapeutic. Because of its calming, rhythmic movements, many studies have shown positive results for people suffering from chronic depression, Alzheimer’s disease, dementia and schizophrenia. Crocheting is also for common ordinary people who simply enjoy the feeling of accomplishing something with their after-work, idle time. Crocheting relieves stress and muscle tensions after a hard day at the office as crocheting easily takes your mind off from work and draws you deeper into a solitary hobby where you can collect your thoughts as you let your fingers and the crochet hook do their work.

Yarn colors also have positive effects on the eyes too. Colors in soft, fuzzy materials provide a diversion to the cold, hard and glaring screens of your office computers that you have been staring at for the whole day.

Aside from the psychological and emotional benefits of crocheting, it also provides material benefits. I have known three housewives who have gone into crocheting, first as a hobby, and then into business, making sweatshirts, shawls and pillowcases in different designs and different colors. Of course, the income may not be as high as when you sell hotdogs during baseball season but it does add a considerable amount of cash into the household income, not to mention the personal satisfaction of having been able to consign and sell your own handiwork in small, local shops. Other items that can be made by crocheting are cellular phone cases, fashion bag parts, tablecloth, and coasters.

Crocheting can also bond people. It provides a healthy venue for women and even young girls to come together to share thoughts and exchange views while exchanging crocheting patterns. It is both a social as well as a solitary hobby. While some people like to meet friends through this common interest, some people are also more comfortable working independently on their crochet and their work comes out just as fine.

Most of all, people who are into crocheting simply enjoys the fact that crocheting tools are small and handy and can be easily kept in purses to take out when a good crocheting diversion is called for.

How to Get a Girl: Tips to Make Her Say Yes

Are you thinking of courting someone you like? Do you want to know what are the effective methods to use to make her say yes? Do you think you will be able to catch her attention and eventually make her like you as much as you like her?

Most guys don’t have an idea on how to get a girl. In most cases, guys are rejected because they have no idea when it comes to approaching a girl. When meeting a girl and trying to get her attention, it’s all about knowing what to say and how to say it as well as knowing the things that can make her happy and how you can make these things possible for her. If you want to know how to get a girl, then you have to do the following tips that can help you a lot.

Tip #1: Be Sincere: Girls are allergic to dishonest guys and if they think you are one then you won’t be given a chance, not even a small one. How to get a girl? You have to be sincere and honest with your intention. Girls will see through you if they feel that you are only pretending and not sincere at all.

Tip #2: Be Her Knight in Shining Armor: Just like the olden times, nothing much has changed when it comes to the type of guys that girls like. Girls still like the idea of having knights in shining armors who are ready to protect them anytime. Nowadays, you can still be a girl’s knight in shining armor minus the armor and the sword. You can be a knight to your girl by being her protector from whatever difficulties she may encounter. If you want to know how to get a girl, try being her knight in shining armor.

Tip #3: Be Mature: Interested on how to get a girl and make her say yes? Be mature. Girls prefer guys who are mature and responsible. Girls think that guys who are not yet mature cannot be trusted when it comes to handling a relationship. So if you are not yet ready to give up your video games and partying with friends every night, then don’t try entering into a relationship because it will only fail.

Tip #4: Be Career-Driven: If you want to have success when it comes to learning how to get a girl, then you have to show that you are a career-oriented individual. Girls hate guys who are lazy and are seen lying around all day. Get up and work instead of asking money from your family and friends and doing nothing all day but partying and drinking with friends. Who would want a guy like that?

Tip #5: Be Real: Don’t try to pretend as someone you’re not. If you are only an ordinary individual earning minimum salary then don’t try to pretend that you own a business somewhere just to make a girl say yes to your date invitation. Honesty is important. If you want to know how to get a girl, you have to be honest and true to yourself.

Marketing Your Trailer Hire Business

Once you have your trailer(s) ready for hire you need to let as many people as possible know. This is the part of the business that is often either overlooked or not pushed enough. No matter whether it is a trailer hire business you are trying to make a go of or something like a restaurant, hotel, shop, or online website store; none of them are going to make any money without customers!

You could have the most wonderful trailer in the country, but unless people know about it and can hire it easily, you are wasting your time. So you need to market your trailer hire business effectively. So starting close to home look at your trailer and see where you can place an advert advertising the fact it is available for hire. Get a weatherproof sign made and mounted on it.

Next, let everyone you know that you now have a trailer for hire. Speak to them, phone them, text them, and email them. Either you or your family go round your village, town or district with fliers in their hands and post them through letter boxes. Arrange for teenagers to do it for you for a small fee. Contact your local newsagent and ask them if their paper boy or girl will deliver the fliers at the same time as the newspapers.

Contact your local newspaper and see if you can arrange for your flier to be inserted in each edition. Leave your fliers where people congregate – taxi offices, takeaway shops and diy shops. Leave your flier or smaller card in every supermarket in your district – remember to call back every 10 days to put up another one.Go to your local libraries and put your advert on their notice board.

In local shops arrange for your advert to be put in their window for a small fee per month. If you have more money to spend on marketing you could arrange with your local taxi firm to have advertising on their taxis. Same goes for local bus companies. Visit your local skip hire business and come to some arrangement to have your business advertise with them. This way anyone hiring a skip may also want a trailer to hire.

Next move to online possibilities. In this country just like America, there are yahoo groups. The two groups you want to post messages (adverts) on are – Freecycle and Cheapcycle. The first, Freecycle has allsorts of household and other items available for people to collect from them, for free. Some of these items are large, too large for loading into a car. These people will be reluctant to pay removal firm fees. They want cheap transportation, as soon as possible. It is the same with Cheapcycle, although these items cost their customers, they still want one off transportation for hire.

Classified ads online such as Loot, Intergiant, FreeUKClassified, Vivastreet, Classifieds, FreeAds, and Onlinexchange are all places you could advertise. There is also a website called Craigslist, which is very widespread in America and has the same rising success over here. However, recently Craigslist has attracted ‘time wasters and others who want to spend their time ‘messing people about’. So by all means visit the website and judge for yourself. If you decide to place an advert. Make sure the person hiring your trailer is ‘bona fide’ (in good faith).

While thinking about online advertising and marketing you might consider having your own website. Your own trailer hire website maybe worthwhile. Setting up a website requires the following- a Domain name, Hosting, a platform such as WordPress (free), a PayPal account and a Google AdSense account. This would be the minimum necessary to have an online business.

Women Empowerment in World

Women empowerment in world cannot be considered as a uniform issue and treated with stereotyped measures. In different parts of the world the issues are different and therefore the needs are also different. We need to understand that women empowerment is not equivalent to a motorway where administration of stereotyped fast-track programmes will bring quick change. Making some women gain power in the present structures or making a few more to make informed choices in their life is not really changing the situation on the ground. The underlying conditions which affect women in the form of bias and discrimination exist in the social fabric of the society and therefore addressing the issue in a limited and stereotyped manner is not going to help women empowerment in world. What we need today is sweeping changes in the structures of society which are inherently biased against women.

Women empowerment in world: The waves of change

Now time has come to look women empowerment in world as a movement for change which gathers strength by creating and generating new structures and systems in the society which are gender neutral and which promote gender equality. In fact time has come when women empowerment in world should be considered something more than the usual activities involved with providing small scale project loans to women or which supports small-scale business activities to help women acquire money and the imagined power of money. This change in thinking is necessary because the hard fact is that money cannot act as a magic wand and wish away overnight the social norms, institutions and relationships that are part of our lives and which are primarily responsible for the wide scale discrimination and bias against women. Poverty reduction is not the beginning and the end of women empowerment in world. We need to acknowledge that it is just one of the major goals. On the other hand the real question to ask is whether women empowerment in world has been able to change the authoritarian structures behind the social norms, institutions and relationships which openly propagate gender bias and discrimination. The development model of empowerment does not answer this question satisfactorily and therefore the developmental model should be considered as one of the tools of empowerment rather than the beginning and the end of empowerment. The time has come when women empowerment in world needs to expand into the consciousness of women and awaken the power within each and every woman. Awakening this power should not be for just making money or gaining limited power in the present biased structures of societies but it should act as a catalyst for creative and generative change in all spheres of life. Such awakening of internal power and consciousness for creative and generative action will give birth to agents of real change. Through numerous pathways and diverse solutions these agents of change can bring genuine transformation in the society for the betterment of women and the whole of humanity. The process might look slow in the beginning but definitely the fire will catch on and the results will be visible in the long run. We need to accept the current reality that women empowerment in world is still a farfetched idea. To bridge the gap between the vision of women empowerment in world and the current reality of gender bias and disparity, we need action at local level as well as the global level. This can be only achieved through increased participation of women at ground level leading to their greater role in the decision making bodies at local level. This in turn will lead to greater economic participation of women, enhanced economic opportunity for women and socioeconomic and political empowerment of women. A ground level movement which gets entrenched in the local area and which grows in the local area will naturally act as a catalyst for enhanced educational attainment, better health care and nutrition and overall well being of women in that area.

Women Empowerment in world: Focusing on the ground level but simultaneously thinking globally

Women empowerment in world should be considered as an ongoing journey rather than a destination to reach. To do so we need to leave the typical baggage, assumptions and stereotypes that is currently followed in the name of gender and development. It is important to gauge the actual experiences of women on ground and find if it matches with the changes that are sought by the various programmes that are being implemented as part of the women empowerment programmes. As I said before the time has come for real and genuine change and in this regard challenging the existing institutionalized inequalities of an established gender order is very important. This challenge should be creative in nature in the sense that it lays foundations for generation of new structures based on gender equality. We must agree to the fact that women in different parts of the world have different needs and issues to be addressed and therefore one-size-fits-all interventions should be avoided. There are differences between countries and we need to acknowledge this fact and work by keeping these differences in mind. Development of empowerment models which suit to a specific situation is the need of the hour and by implementing programmes as per the need of the different countries, societies and localities we can make a profound impact at the ground level. But the real change that we are seeking will only come when at the ground level women participate in a campaign which begins from their inner self and which spreads like a fire to bring creative and generative change. Such a campaign shall enhance the social, political and economic participation of women at the ground level with a purpose that envisions everlasting change in the direction of gender based equality. This movement and campaign will be far more powerful and responsive than bringing few women into politics as this will make the political structures and other institutions of the society to be more accountable and responsive to the needs of the women. The traditional structures and institutions will be forced to adopt and change so that they represent the truth of today which is nothing less than gender equality and equal rights for women.

Women Empowerment in world: Local campaigns based on lived experiences

The mass campaign for change should be the goal for women empowerment in world but for that the movement should take root at the ground level. Such a campaign or movement will only take roots at the ground level if it is based on the local issues and it touches upon the lived experiences of the women at a particular place or locality. The first step of such a campaign should be to address the basic inequality against women in the society that exists in any number of forms. Addressing local issues or needs which stems from this inequality in the society is the best way to begin a campaign. The focus should be to give solutions to the needs and issues of the women at the local level through their own leaders. This can be done in the form of constructive and creative pursuits like offering schools and training institutes to develop local leaders. These leaders can take the campaign forward in their area by working on the local structures which require change. The schools and training institutes can thus act as the seed for developing the next generation of leaders who can work within the current structures as well as create new structures for the larger benefit of women and humanity as a whole. Once this happens then we can slowly think about building structures in society based on gender equality. The newer approach to women empowerment should thus focus on lived experiences rather than stereotypes. The campaigns or movements which originate at the ground level should be based on this newer approach of developing local leaders who can galvanize constructive change. Once this happens then the campaign can naturally move to become regional, national and global collations for change.

Women empowerment in world: Gender inequality as the primary impediment in Empowerment of women

When we talk about the need for change we should also understand the need for such change. The constructive change should try to bring about a social order which is based on gender equality. We have to be aware of the fact that the issues of gender inequality and gender based discrimination are the primary reasons for beginning a grass root campaign. Gender equality should be the real purpose for any such grass root campaign. The truth is that gender inequality is a big impediment in the way of women empowerment around the world. Gender inequality can be seen in the society in overt as well as covert forms in rural and urban settings and this includes violence against women, discriminatory practices against women and issues of inadequate and restrictive reproductive health rights. Gender based equality can be achieved only if we tackle issues related to gender based discrimination and bias at every level.

Women empowerment in world: Lessening the burden on women

Gender equality campaigns should also address changes that are required to lessen the burden of women. For example finding solutions to issues related to combining the child-bearing, breastfeeding, child rearing needs of women along with their participation in the workforce can make the life of women less harsh. Here men should be encouraged to shoulder the responsibilities of raising a family and they should take responsibility for their sexual and reproductive behaviour, their social and family roles. Further the major goals of gender based equality should be to make women at the grass root level capable to act and enhance their decision-making capability in local settings. The galvanized action at the local level by women will help them to promote equal opportunity for themselves and this will also profoundly help in impacting policy changes for their own good. Further local level activism will help in redressing gender inequalities, elimination of harmful practices, attitudes and discrimination against women and girls. This will create a zero tolerance among public for discriminatory practices like the urge of son, unequal care for girl children, violence in all forms including female genital cutting, rape, incest, sexual violence and trafficking.

Women empowerment in world: Readdressing gender inequality

We can influence the larger systems and structures to respond to the need for social, cultural and legal changes by creating sufficient force and momentum from the grass root levels. The campaign at the grass root creates momentum which can influence the higher structures of the society. There can be number of ways in which the grass root campaign can be initiated. It depends upon the local issues. To give some examples, common issues that can be taken up through the grass root movement include taking up services to women victims of violence, prevention and counselling services against violence including telephone hotlines, addressing inequality in health programmes, programmes to educate women about reproductive and human rights, offer training in literacy, employment skills, legal rights, parenting, child health and social mobilization. Strengthening the capabilities of women by elimination of gender gaps in secondary education, increasing adolescents’ and women access to sexual and reproductive health information and services are other major areas to focus.

Women empowerment in world: Sexual and reproductive rights for women

As I said before, women empowerment in world should focus on personal issues at local levels and one of the main issues is about women sexuality. There are major concern areas when we talk of women sexuality in terms of issues like sexually transmitted diseases and sexual violation. Women empowerment in world which works at the local level should address these issues in depth. Women empowerment should provide a strong platform for women to exercise choices over their own sexual and reproductive lives. Women empowerment should address very strongly the issues related to male predation and it should create framework and information for recognizing and celebrating female sexuality both positive and pleasurable.

Women empowerment in world: Focussing on enhanced security for women

Another major issue that affects large parts of the world is human trafficking. This problem arises because of the weak structures at the grass root level whereby women are forced into circumstances which lead to their trafficking. Human trafficking takes place because of the appalling socioeconomic conditions prevailing in the local area. Trafficking of women and girls and violence against women are issues which require strong legal measures along with ground level action.

Women Empowerment in world: Violence against the girl child and women

When we talk of issues related to gender discrimination then one of the burning issues is violence against the girl child and women. This is a major problem in many parts of the world. The elimination of all forms of discrimination and violence against the girl child should become a must. In large parts of the world the girl child faces unending discrimination and is subjected to violence of many kinds. In conflict zones the violence against girl child is widely prevalent. There is hidden violence against girl child and women who stay at home where even their reproductive and sexual health rights are contravened. This deprives the basic human dignity and is life-threatening. Even the survival of the girl child and her coming into the world itself is becoming a big question mark because of sex selective abortion of the female child and if she takes birth and manages to survive then she lives a deprived childhood with genital mutilation, lack of basic education, marriage at 12 years and rape. By the age of 12 the girl child already becomes infected with deadly sexually transmitted diseases like HIV and AIDS. This is a bitter truth in many parts of the world. Even if the child passes this period then still she enters into a life of drudgery as an unpaid servant of the house or in many cases turn out to prostitution. A few lucky go to school and college and manage to get education eventually to get married to someone and life a live of a house wife. Then the ordeal starts all over again for a life time with domestic violence and the burden of running a home without even the basic health, nutrition or reproductive rights in sight. Now these are issues which are actual ground realities and we need actions against them.

Women empowerment in world: Building from ground up to create global collations

The solution to gender based discrimination can only come if we work from the grass root level and create a campaign which moves upward. Once the women empowerment movement catches fire from the local area then it can move on to the regional, national and global levels with wide range of issues. This movement can then address discrimination and violence in many forms and cater to the needs for improving economic and political opportunity for women. Reducing discrimination against women in employment and earnings, reducing gender inequalities in property and inheritance and increasing women share of seats in regional and national government bodies can be the other issues which can be taken up as the campaign grows from locality to region and to national and international levels. As I said before at these levels improving women security by significantly reducing the incidence of violence against girls and women should be a major area of focus.

Women empowerment in world: Work at the Macro level

Women empowerment is distinct aim as we are still struggling with gender based discrimination, inequality and lack of fairness for women in every sphere of life. In this regard the need of the hour is to understand the practical realities of discrimination and inequality and then keeping that as the basis develop social policies for affirmative action through public debate, legal arrangements and legislation. All this can happen at macro level provided we have created a sustainable campaign at the grass root level. Without that everything will be superficial and policies and laws will only remain in paper.

Women Empowerment in world: The role of the state in empowerment of women

The role of the state in the empowerment of women is far less than satisfactory but the only way to galvanize the state is to start from the ground level and then move upwards. Creating a mass movement at the ground level by focusing on local issues can help us to shake the system and make it more responsive to change. At this level we can touch upon various issues that need to be urgently addressed. Among them we have new forms of violence against women that have emerged whereas freedom from violence that was previously made has eroded. Women empowerment in world should focus on these issues and make states more responsive to them. It is a known fact that states are not taking enough measures to ensure gender equality and protection of women human rights is not an important issue anymore. This can be reflected by the glaring gap between the international standards that has been set and the national laws, policies and practices that are implemented by individual states. In this regard even the role of UN as a coordinating agency also needs to be reinforced. But again the crux of the story is simple. If we want to make an impact at the state level and the international level, we need to start working first at the local level and then move to the regional, state and then the international levels. Top down approach is not going to pay much and in fact the work should start from down at the ground level and then move upwards.

Women empowerment in world: How to make the present structures accountable and responsive

We need to understand that the priority is not for increasing the numbers of women in top level organizations or structures or government bodies but the real change should come by making these organizations and structures responsive to the ground realities and thus positively influence their way of doing the business. The gender equality action plans signed by the governments and international organizations are actually not implemented. In this kind of scenario direct action through mass mobilisation at the ground level by focusing on the local issues and local leaders is the best way to create necessary heat and pressure for making the top level organizations and structures to respond and change. There are many instances around the world where the state apparatus clamps down on rights and silences the voice of dissent. Here the priority is lost for implementing laws and regulations that promote rights particularly that of women. Such authoritarian structures can be shaken for change only through grass root movements where real and genuine people come together as change leaders. This should happen in a creative and constructive atmosphere rather than on a destructive agenda. All grass root social organizations including men and women need to work together and finally hold governments to account for social justice by creating a grass root force which shall make the government to respond to the needs. Other impediments to progress at the macro level include lack of quality data disaggregated by sex, paucity of financial and technical resources for women programmes at both international and national levels, and confusion about the relative merits of gender mainstreaming versus women focused programmes. Behind these factors lie the questions of political clout and commitment.

Interview with Bud Bilanich, Author of Straight Talk for Success

Bud Bilanich is The Common Sense Guy. His pragmatic approach to business, life, and the business of life has made him one of the most sought after speakers, consultants and executive coaches in the USA! Dr. Bilanich’s work focuses on helping individuals, teams and entire organizations succeed. Bud is Harvard educated, but has a no-nonsense, common sense approach to his work that stretches back to his roots in the steel country of Western Pennsylvania.

In addition to “Straight Talk for Success,” Bud has authored six books on business and leadership. He is a regular guest on talk radio and podcasts. He writes two popular blogs: http://www.SuccessCommonSense.com, which focuses on career and life success and http://www.CommonSenseGuy.com that is devoted to advice for leaders and small business owners.

His clients include Pfizer, Johnson and Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, PepsiCo, General Motors, Citicorp, JP Morgan Chase, UBS Financial Services, AXA Advisors, AT&T, Pitney Bowes, and The Boys and Girls Clubs of America.

Bud is a cancer survivor who lives in Denver with his wife Cathy. He is a retired rugby player and an avid cyclist. He likes movies, live theatre and crime fiction.

Tyler: Welcome, Bud. I’m glad you could join me today. We all want to know how to be successful. To start out will you tell us what made you feel the need to write “Straight Talk for Success”?

Bud: Thanks Tyler. I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me today. As you know, I’ve been in business as a consultant and speaker since 1988. About five years ago, many of my clients began asking me to help them out by coaching some of their senior executives and high potential employees.

As I began my coaching work, I decided that I needed to put together a model of career and life success. I wanted to identify the characteristics that all successful people have in common. After about a year of research-on line, reading every success book I could find, and interviewing successful people-I came up with my five point model of success. This model says that successful people have five things in common.

Successful people are self confident.

Successful people have positive personal impact.

Successful people are outstanding performers.

Successful people are great communicators.

Successful people are interpersonally competent.

My coaching clients told me that they found this common sense model to be very helpful.

Several suggested that I should turn it into a book. So I did.

Tyler: Who do you think will most benefit from and enjoy reading your book?

Bud: There are three main audiences for this book. The primary audience is young people, 20 to 30 years old, just beginning their careers. The second audience is people who have just received their first promotion and are beginning to advance in their life and careers. The third audience is people who are feeling stuck in their careers and who are looking for some advice on how to get it moving forward again.

In short, anyone who is interested in becoming more successful in their life and career can benefit from the ideas in “Straight Talk for Success.”

Tyler: Bud, how will the book help people who feel stuck in their careers, or who are having difficulties at work?

Bud: Well Tyler, I’ve learned that the biggest mistake people make when it comes to career and life success is thinking that good performance is enough to guarantee success. Outstanding performance is important, sure. It’s at the heart of the model. However, I have found that the people who become truly successful are more than good performers.

People who read “Straight Talk” will learn how to put the other four key success factors-self confidence, positive personal impact, communication skills and interpersonal competence-into play to build a great life and career.

Tyler: What do you define as success?

Bud: My definition of success is two part. First success means being happy with yourself, your life and career. Second, success means doing something-no matter how small-to make the world a better place.

Tyler: Bud, will you tell us a little bit about how the book is organized. Is there a specific path you outline to help a person reach success?

Bud: Tyler, as you might have guessed the book is organized into five main sections:

Self Confidence

Positive Personal Impact

Outstanding Performance

Communication Skills

Interpersonal Competence

Each section has three chapters.

The self confidence chapters focus on: 1) Becoming optimistic, 2) Facing your fears, and 3) Surrounding yourself with positive people.

The positive personal impact chapters focus on: 1) Developing and nurturing your personal brand, 2) Being impeccable in your presentation of self, and 3) Knowing and using the basic rules of etiquette.

The outstanding performance chapters focus on: 1) Becoming a lifelong learner, 2) Setting and achieving high goals, and 3) Getting organized for success.

The communication skills chapters focus on: 1) Becoming an excellent conversationalist, 2) Developing your writing skills, and 3) Becoming an outstanding presenter.

The interpersonal competence chapters focus on: 1) Becoming self aware, 2) Building long lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in your life, and 3) Learning how to resolve conflict positively.

Tyler: Bud, one of the aspects of success you focus on is that a person must have good communication skills. How can a person develop these skills?

Bud: As I mentioned, there are three types of communication skills important for career and life success: conversation skills, writing skills and presentation skills.

Here’s some simple, common sense advice on each of them. Questions are the main secret to conversation skills. If you ask other people questions, you will become known as a great conversationalist. Writing is easy. Use the active voice, small words, and simple sentences and you’ll become a clear concise writer. Practice is the key to making dynamic presentations. The more you practice, the better your talks will be.

Tyler: You also talk about self-confidence. How does one go from feeling fear, for example, of public speaking, to being self-confident?

Bud: My suggestions for dealing with fear are also simple and common sense. To best your fears you need to do four things. 1) Identify it. 2) Admit it. 3) Accept it. 4) Confront it and take action.

So, to use your example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, making as many presentations as you can is the best thing you can do to overcome this fear.

Tyler: What about interpersonal competence? How do you define it, and how does one master it to become successful?

Bud: Interpersonally competent people excel at three things. First, they are self aware. They understand themselves. They use this self understanding to understand better the people in their lives. By understanding how others are similar or different from them, interpersonally competent people are able better to alter their communication styles. This helps them relate well to all sorts of people.

Second, interpersonally competent people are good at building strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in their lives. They do this by using their conversation skills, and by being willing to help others with no expectation of anything in return. This giving mentality allows them to make regular deposits into the emotional bank accounts they have with others. When you make regular deposits, you have enough emotional capital to make the occasional withdrawal.

Finally, interpersonally competent people resolve conflict in a positive manner. They do this by identifying the points where they agree with someone with whom they are in conflict. They use these points of agreement-no matter how trivial to build a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

Tyler: How would your advice for achieving success differ if for example, you had a male college student who views success as being a well known brain surgeon, versus a senior citizen woman who views success as staying physically active?

Bud: Not much. I believe that career and life success are a function of the five factors I’ve mentioned several times as we’ve chatted: self confidence, positive personal impact, outstanding performance, communication skills and interpersonal competence.

Successful brain surgeons need all of these, just like my mother-who is a senior citizen, suffering from COPD – that’s Chronic obstructive Pulmonary Disease, what they used to call Emphysema.

Tyler:”Straight Talk for Success” contains many stories as examples. Would you share one of these stories with us?

Bud: I love stories because they make the points I want to make in the book come alive. Here’s a favorite because it is about a time that my self confidence helped me succeed against some pretty tough competition.

Mark Twain once said, “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure.” I love this quote. To me, it says you’ll be amazed by how much you can accomplish (success) if you don’t know (ignorance) how hard it is to accomplish it. If you don’t know that it’s hard or impossible to do something, you are more likely to be able to do it.

Here’s an example from my life. When I was a junior in high school, the local paper sponsored a writing contest. The winners got to spend two weeks at Kent State University during the summer participating in a seminar sponsored by the High School Press Institute. Only two students from all of the high schools in our county would win the contest. I decided I was going to win-because winning was the only way I was going to get to go to the seminar.

Funny thing is, I thought that two students from each school in the county were going to be selected. In other words, I was ignorant about the difficulty of winning. I was sure that I was one of the two best writers in my high school; I was sure to win if I wrote the best essay I possibly could. I wrote a kick-ass essay, sent it in, and waited to hear that I had won.

Which I did. However, I was shocked when I realized I was one of two kids from the whole county-not just my school-to win. It was just like Mark Twain said. All I needed was ignorance and confidence. I was ignorant of the difficulty of the competition-we had about 25 high schools in our county. It was 25 times more difficult to win than I thought. And I was confident. I knew the competition in my school, and I was pretty sure that if I wrote my best essay, it would be better than the essays of the other kids (I knew this because I was editor of the yearbook and newspaper and regularly edited their writing). My ignorance allowed my confidence to flourish, and I wrote well. Had I known that I was in a county-wide competition, I might have been more tentative in my writing, and I might not have won.

The common sense point here? When you are faced with a challenge, focus on your skills and talents, not how difficult it is-and you’ll be likely to succeed.

“Straight Talk” is filled with these types of stories.

Tyler: Bud, would you say success also depends on listening to yourself and not other people? If people had started to tell you that you had a slim or no chance of winning, would that have stopped you?

Bud: Success absolutely depends on listening to yourself. That’s why self confidence is the first point in the model. All successful people are self confident. They believe in themselves – even when others tell them that they can’t be successful.

The 2008 Super Bowl is a good example. If the Giants had listened to all of the experts, they wouldn’t have even made the trip to Arizona. They would have just conceded the championship to the Patriots. But they believed in themselves, and ended up winning the game in one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history.

Tyler: I mentioned earlier that you’ve written several other books in your career. Will you tell us a little about them?

Bud: All of the other books I’ve written have been in the leadership arena. I’ll give you a quick list of the titles here:

4 Secrets of High Performing Organizations

Supervisory Leadership

Using Values to Turn Vision Into Reality

Leading With Values

Fixing Performance Problems

Solving Performance Problems

I’ve also written an e book called “Star Power: Common Sense Ideas for Career and Life Success”. It was sort of a rough draft of “Straight Talk.”

Besides that, I’ve contributed chapters to several books:

Conversations on Success

One Great Idea

The Handbook of Business Strategy

180 Ways to Walk the Customer Service Talk

Tyler: Besides writing books, Bud, you teach success through coaching. Will you tell us a little bit about that work?

Bud: I began my career as a trainer. From there I moved into consulting and speaking. Speaking is a lot like training. You just have less time to make your point. Most of my talks last 45 minutes to an hour. Most training courses are usually a full day at a minimum. My coaching is done one on one. My typical coaching engagements last six months. During that time, I usually meet face to face with the person I am coaching three or four times. I speak with him or her via the phone every week, and I am available by email to answer questions as we go forward.

As I mentioned before, the five points in “Straight Talk for Success” are the starting point for my coaching. I begin by assessing how well my coaching client is doing in each of these five areas. Then, we jointly develop objectives for the coaching and a plan to make sure we meet those objectives.

Tyler: Bud, do you plan to write any more books?

Bud: Sure. I’m planning a follow up to “Straight Talk for Success.” I’m thinking about calling it “More Straight Talk for Success.” I’ve been interviewing thought leaders in the self confidence, personal impact, high performance, communication and interpersonal competence fields. My plan is to make the new book a compilation of the best thoughts of the best people in these fields.

Tyler: Bud, you’ve obviously been extremely successful yourself. To what do you attribute your own success, and what put you on the right path through life?

Bud: My parents gave me a great start in life. Their greatest gift to me was a strong work ethic. Also, I’ve been blessed with a good mind and a love of learning. However, most importantly, I attribute my success to my self confidence, positive personal impact, outstanding performance, communication skills and interpersonal competence.

Tyler: Bud, how did you get to be called The Common Sense Guy?

Bud: As you know, Tyler, a strong personal brand is an important element of the second success factor, positive personal impact. Several years ago, I decided to create a personal brand. I began by asking people close to me-friends and clients-what came to mind when they thought of me. The term “common sense” came up a lot. I agreed that common sense is one of the terms that defines me pretty well. I also thought that it made sense as a brand because it differentiated me from my more theoretical competitors.

Once I settled on common sense as the core attribute of my brand, I had a little trouble coming up with the third word. Common Sense Guru sounded too pretentious and new age all at the same time. I considered Common Sense Doctor-a play on my educational credentials, but it ran the risk of being confused with a medical doctor.

I settled on Common Sense Guy because, when you come right down to it, I’m just a regular guy. Common Sense Guy struck the right chord with me because it captures the essence of who I am as a person.

Tyler: Will you explain the role of common sense in becoming a success?

Bud: I think that we tend to overcomplicate things. I believe in looking for time tested principles and applying them. That’s where common sense comes in. Most common sense has stood the test of time-that’s why it’s called common sense.

My five success principles – self confidence, positive personal impact, outstanding performance, communication skills and interpersonal competence-resonate with people because they make sense. They’re just common sense. The hard part is putting them to work. You have to commit to doing the work necessary to reap the rewards that will come from applying them.

Thomas Edison once said, “Most people miss opportunity because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work.” The same is true for common sense. Most people know what to do in most situations. Their common sense tells them. However, many people don’t do what their common sense tells them for any number of reasons-it’s too much work, they may make someone angry, it takes too long.

So to me, the role of common sense in becoming a success is simple. Listen to what your common sense tells you-and then do it, no matter how hard, or unpleasant.

Tyler: Thank you, Bud, for joining me today. Before we go, will you tell us about your website and what information readers can find there about “Straight Talk for Success”?

Bud: http://www.BudBilanich.com

Also, my blog, http://www.SuccessCommonSense.com is a great place for people to go to learn more about the five success factors in “Straight Talk.” I write about one of them every day: Monday, self confidence; Tuesday, personal impact; Wednesday, performance; Thursday, communication skills; Friday, interpersonal competence.

Tyler: Thank you, Bud. If our readers want to be successful and they have Common Sense, then I hope they’ll read your book.

Uptalk – What it is and Why You Don’t Ever Want to Do it!

Carol doesn’t understand why no one seems to take her ideas seriously in business meetings

Sophie complains that every time she makes a suggestion in an Executive meeting the idea gets tossed around until finally some ‘guy’ says the same thing she did and is congratulated for his contribution.

Both of these women experience similar difficulties. They are not given credit for their ideas. One of the biggest causes of women not being taken seriously is the use of ‘Uptalk’ when speaking.

In English, the use of a question mark at the end of a sentence indicates that the sender is asking a question. The speaker therefore raises their inflection at the end of the statement. It is this upward inflection, or lilt, that lets the receiver know that we are asking them something; that we are looking for a response from them.

Uptalk occurs when we inject that same upward inflection at the end of our sentences, rather than inflecting downward, as we should when we read a period. This upward inflection takes our definitive statements and softens them, making them sound as if we are asking a question or looking for approval. The use of uptalk is one of the most common elements undermining women’s credibility with men around the boardroom table.

Consider the impact of uptalk on the following statements. I’ve inserted question marks in parenthesis to indicate where the inflection rises and exclamation points to indicate where the inflection should fall. Practice saying these out loud to ‘hear’ the impact that the uptalk has.

With uptalk: It’s a nice day today(?)

Without uptalk: It’s a nice day today(!)

In the first example, your inflection rises at the end of the statement, making it sound as if you are unsure of whether the day is, in fact, nice or not. Certainly it makes you sound more hesitant and less confident. The second statement however clearly lets others know how you feel about the day. Although this is a simplistic example, the following is an excerpt from an introduction given by a woman in one of my training sessions. Try to follow the upward inflection indicated by the arrows above the phrases and read it out loud. Again, I have inserted question marks to indicate where Susan’s inflection rose as she was delivering her introduction.

Hi(?), my name is Susan(?). I’m the Manager(?) of Information Services(?) for a large Telecommunications company(?)

In this example, you can see that uptalk can occur much more frequently than simply at the end of a sentence. Often people’s sentences are punctuated with uptalk throughout, making it a stronger message. Susan’s use of uptalk made her seem very hesitant and unsure of herself. In fact, it seemed that she should have pulled out a business card to verify that, in fact, her name was Susan as well as her title and employer! If this is the effect that the use of uptalk has on simple, very direct, very definitive statements, is it any wonder that women’s ideas, when presented with uptalk, are often overlooked or ignored?

Women often develop uptalk early in life in an effort to ‘play nice’. Young girls learn early to soften their orders and directions to others by using uptalk. They sound less directing and controlling, less ‘bossy’, and therefore will still be allowed into other little girls’ play circles.

Little boys, on the other hand, will give very direct orders during play, without alienating other boys in the process. It seems that boys are more open to having other boys displaying leadership traits, without any hard feelings or animosity arising, while girls take it as a personal affront when another girl attempts to do so.

In a recent Women in Business networking event I attended, each woman was given two minutes to introduce themselves and their businesses. I was astounded as I listened to these women. Easily 75% of the women present uptalked their way through their personal introductions. They sounded hesitant and ineffectual!

If you find that your statements seem to lack credibility or conviction, that your ideas are lacking strength, take the time to listen to yourself on tape. Listen for the uptalk. Once you train your ear to identify it, you will be amazed at how easily you can begin to control it. You cannot change what you cannot identify though, so get out that tape-recorder and start taping! We have had many past training participants come back to us and say that learning to hear and control their uptalk was one of the biggest contributors to their ongoing success in business. As one participant shared “I can’t believe that such a seemingly small element had such a major impact on how I was perceived. Once I began working to eliminate my uptalk the change in others perception was almost instantaneous. What’s funny is that others knew something was different about me but couldn’t put their finger on what it was. My boss kept asking who lit the fire under me!”